


Insensitive

by taboonalady



Category: Snow Man (Japan Band)
Genre: (but only a few), Alternate Universe - Office, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slice of Life, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taboonalady/pseuds/taboonalady
Summary: Meguro Ren starts his first day at a company. He meets a lot of cool new people and makes new friends, but one in particular, Abe Ryohei, catches his eye and he can't seem to figure out what makes him tick. What's with all the kindness towards him?Meme isn't sure what will happen if he goes along for the ride, but dives in head first anyway.
Relationships: Abe Ryouhei/Meguro Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Insensitive

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Ashley for going it over for me ♥

_Day 1_

It’s Meme’s first day on the job. Marketing events coordinator. _Sounds fancy_ , he thinks as he settles on his assigned desk. He managed to somehow talk his way into this job—two years as part of the working force were spent in various departments of different organizations: Sales, HR, then Brands. Sometimes he wonders how he has survived all of it, but he’s often told it’s his palpable charisma that is his ultimate weapon. He’s embarrassed whenever he hears this, but those people haven’t been exactly wrong, either.

“Meguro Ren-kun,” his boss, Fukazawa Tatsuya, calls his attention. “How are you doing on your first day?”

The casual tone surprises Meme a bit, but even from the interview a few weeks ago, Fukka’s friendly demeanor was evident early on. It seems like he’s going to be a fun boss, if his business jacket and loose white tee underneath doesn’t give that away.

“I just got here, Fukka-san,” Meme says with a smirk. “I haven’t even sat down yet.”

“Only checking up on you, buddy.” Even with Fukka’s chipper tone, Meme can detect the joking intention behind it. “Remember to finish filling out your HR and IT forms, and don’t mix them up!”

 _Right._ Meme sits down at his desk and proceeds to inspect said forms. The one from IT appears shorter, so he decides to work on that first. Seems simple enough… fill out the name, department, preferred company email address format and a couple of security questions.

“You’ll need to submit it o’er there,” someone hovering over him tells him—a guy a bit shorter than him, about Fukka’s height, sporting a Kansai accent and wearing a white dress shirt with a funky tie—and points towards Meme’s left side. “That’s the IT department.”

Meme starts to feel a bit overdressed with a full suit on.

“Thanks,” Meme then looks over to where it is. Nothing obvious separates the Events department from IT, aside from the difference of layouts between the two. The Events side looks more traditional, with cubicles dividing each desk, while the IT side looks more open.

“I’m Koji, by the way,” the man removes his right hand from the coffee mug he’s holding with both hands, offering Meme a handshake. “I’ll be your desk mate for an indefinite period of time, so you’ll need to get used to this voice.”

“Meguro Ren,” Meme takes the offered handshake, unsure if that comment was a joke or a threat. Or both.

“Approach that tall, muscular guy,” Koji continues to advise. “He’s the head of IT, very nice dude.”

 _Muscular?_ How can Koji tell under all that suit?

“Do I really have to hand it off to the head of IT?” Meme chuckles, a little incredulous of what Koji said. “It’s just a form.”

Koji shrugs. “Well, most of IT is out right now so the head is your only choice.”

Meme looks over again. Koji’s right. “I guess that’s fair to assume.”

Koji laughs, the sound of it resonating through the entire floor. “Just saying.”

Meme heads over to the IT. The man Koji referred to previously seems busy, but Meme needs to get this done right away, else he won’t be able to do anything since so much of his work involves communications. “Uh, excuse me, my deskmate Koji said I should hand this over to you? It’s for my email registration.”

“Oh yes!” the man says. “Thank you…” he pauses to read the name, “Meguro Ren.”

As the man takes the form, another tall guy comes in—less tall than the head of IT but definitely taller than Koji. Like Meme, he’s also wearing a full suit. Meme already feels slightly relieved with this person around.

Holding a coffee cup in his hand—that’s a lot of numbers written on it—he rushes towards his desk, breathing out as if he just ran a marathon. The way he runs his fingers through his full mop of rather brown hair catches Meme’s attention.

“Abe, you’re right on time! Will you do this for me, please?” The head of IT then hands the form over to this Abe guy.

“Huh?” Abe turns and takes the form given to him. “Oh okay, sure. This is for registration?”

“Mmhmm, for Meguro over here.”

“Okay!” Abe glances at Meme. Meme is astonished by the roundness of his eyes looking straight at his own. _They’re really… adorable._ Meme doesn’t understand why he’s so struck by them, so he files that thought away in the back of his mind for now.

“Uh, Meguro?” The head of IT takes his attention away from Abe. “We’ll get back to you once it’s set up. It might take half a day, sorry. We’re still working on making this process a little bit faster.”

“No worries. It’s only my first day; I imagine I still have a few things I need to do before I can officially start working.” Meme gives him a tiny grin. “I missed your name. What is it?”

“Oh crap, forgot to introduce myself,” he presents Meme an apologetic smile. “Iwamoto Hikaru. Feel free to approach me or any of the people here if you have tech troubles.”

“Sounds good. Thank you, Iwamoto-kun.” Meme leaves but not without taking one more glimpse at Abe, who is now busy typing what he assumes is his email registration form.

He already likes it here.

———

_Day 2_

Meme has been working on his introductions since he got to work this morning; Fukka briefed him the day before that there would be a meeting where he would be introduced to the rest of the marketing team, along with other department heads so they know who to contact in case they have concerns about events.

Talking is never a problem for Meme; he knows how to use words bluntly without sounding rude or offensive, but it never hurts to be prepared.

As he busies himself with writing—an activity he’s not too excited about—he sees out of the corner of his eye Koji and Abe walking out of the pantry.

 _Huh, so they’re friends_.

“Oh right, have you met Meme here?” Meme hears Koji say as they approach Koji and Meme’s cubicle.

Koji has called him “Meme” the first hour they met—not that Meme minds, really. It has a tone of familiarity that doesn’t annoy him.

“Oh yeah, I remember you,” Abe, still with the freshly ironed jacket on, all buttons closed, his tie still firmly in place, smiles at Meme. He suddenly feels funny, realizing quickly that he’s somehow not ready for this interaction. “I processed your email registration yesterday.”

“That’s me,” Meme attempts at a silly response. Abe chuckles along with those adorable eyes of his, so Meme guesses that was a success.

“I’m Abe Ryohei,” Abe stretches out his right hand with, again, that mug that has lots of numbers on it in his other hand. _This guy seems smart_. “Meguro Ren, right?”

Meme nods short of rhythmically, taking the older man’s hand. The man’s got an assured grip for someone so slender. Meme wonders how he noticed that. “You got it right.”

“I don’t forget names that often, even with my job.” Abe chuckles again, making Meme naturally smile. “Anyway, I have to head back to my desk now. I’ll see you two later?”

“Right!” Koji’s voice has that little chirp in it. “Meme, care to join us for lunch? I didn’t see you at the cafeteria yesterday.”

_‘Meme’? Oh right. That’s me._

“I was eating lunch at the pantry,” Meme didn’t realize how sad that sounded until he said it out loud, just now.

“The pantry? You don’t get to eat lunch alone now,” Abe beams widely again, like it’s somewhat a reflex. Not that Meme minds that one either. “Come join us.”

The tilting of the head is what gets Meme.

So for some reason, Meme finds that invitation nearly impossible to refuse. “Okay, sure.”

“Awesome!” Koji interjects. “You have to meet our other friends too, from Sales. You’ll like Shoppi.”

Abe nods gleefully, giving Koji and Meme a casual wave before heading back to his desk, not that it isn’t visible from where Meme sits at all.

He feels like he’s going to take a peek over there more so than usual.

And that’s bad.

———

_Day 8_

Meme is working on his first events proposal draft when he sees an email notification pop up.

“Lunch?” is the only word written on it.

It’s from Abe.

Meme looks over to the clock on his PC. It’s ten minutes past noon. He sighs. Time flies really fast when you’re preoccupied.

He then looks over to Abe, who is apparently fast approaching his desk. Meme’s heart starts to pound quicker than he can anticipate.

“Hey Meme, too busy to eat?”

Meme needs to get accustomed to that bright smile of his.

“No, I just got caught up in it a little bit, didn’t notice the time,” Meme arranges the papers and folders in front of him, avoiding any sort of gaze from Abe while he’s at it. It’s the first time they’ve talked without Koji in the mix and it’s proving to be a little awkward. Just a little. (Meme swears.)

“I understand, that happens to me all the time,” Abe seems to be leaning against Koji’s rather empty side of the cubicle, a little too casually. “Let’s go eat lunch?”

Fukka sent Koji today to do a photoshoot for an upcoming event, leaving Meme in this situation with Abe. The two of them have never really talked that much, so it surprises Meme that Abe asked that in such a friendlier way than Meme is normally used to. It’s almost… _weird_.

But it’d be a lie to say that Meme hates it.

“Sure, let me finish arranging this.”

“Take your time,” Abe says, his smile timer seemingly unlimited.

Meme proceeds to fix his stuff, now conscious of Abe’s attention to him.

“You’re really waiting for me, huh,” Meme says rather dryly, though he doesn’t mean it that way. He can’t help it sometimes.

Abe shrugs. “I am. But don’t feel pressured or anything, that’s not my intention.”

 _He’s nice. Almost too nice._ Meme can’t quite figure out if Abe’s doing it out of pity or if he’s being genuine. Seems to be the latter, but now Meme wants to figure him out and can’t and it slowly kills him inside.

“Alright, let’s go?” Meme finally says.

“Let’s go.”

———

_Day 9_

Abe’s short-but-sweet emails have started to come a little more frequently. From a simple “Let’s eat?” to “I’m bored, so tell me: what’s your favorite subject in school,” it’s almost ridiculous how Abe seems to be _a little more than just friendly_ and while Meme doesn’t hate this—not one bit—Meme is beginning to suspect other things.

Like how Meme seems to be the same damn “friendly” person, apparently.

“Never really the studying type,” Meme types as a reply to Abe with a stupid grin on his stupid face. “And I take it you are.”

He then sneaks a glance over to Abe’s desk to see the other man’s reaction. It does take a while, but there it is: A double eyebrow raise of fascination and satisfaction of curiosity. Abe starts to type a reply, and Meme goes back to his proposal in the meantime.

As he does so, he then sees Abe walk over towards the pantry. The thing about Abe that Meme really likes, aside from the other obvious things, is that Abe’s a really great converser. They barely know each other at this point, but Meme enjoys talking to him for some reason.

So does he go over there to seize the opportunity to talk to the guy?

 _I mean_. Meme stares at his empty water bottle. _This could use some refilling._

Meme grabs the bottle and heads towards the pantry. He sees Abe holding that damn mug again to refill it with coffee from the coffee pot on the counter.

While Meme wants to comment on it so badly, he proceeds to silently refill his own water bottle by the water cooler.

“Oh, hi Meme,” Abe says when he turns around, pleasantly surprised. There’s that darned smile again.

Meme’s not as surprised, evidently, but feigns the same reaction. “Abe-kun!”

Abe chuckles, confidently looking at his own mug. “Gotta have caffeine somehow, right?”

“I guess you’re right,” Meme’s lips turn up a little bit. He likes this moment right here. But what else does he say? He realizes he really didn’t think this through.

“And you’re right,” Abe then says.

“What?”

“I _am_ the studying type. I really like it. And by the way, my favorite subjects in school were math and science.”

“ _That_ … makes much more sense now.” Before Meme knew it, he’s pointing directly at the mug Abe is holding.

Abe laughs. “Yeah, it’s the digits of pi.”

 _Of course it is_.

“It’s okay, you can call me a nerd,” Abe scoffs, though his inviting beam never fades.

Meme can’t help but laugh at what Abe said. “You are, but it’s not like that’s a bad thing. Being smart is a good thing!”

Abe laughs as well, his eyes twinkling. “Appreciate it.” There is a pause, though not the awkward kind. Abe soon adds, “I’ve never heard you laugh like that before. You’re usually so…”

“Serious?”

“No,” Abe’s expression at him seems fond. Meme can feel his chest swell with something he can’t quite describe still. “Earnest? Yup, that’s the word I was looking for.”

Meme doesn’t think so, but Abe’s not completely wrong. He wants to do great at this job.

“Anyway. You should laugh more—it makes a good-looking guy like you even look cooler.”

Abe gives him one final assuring smile before he leaves the pantry, also leaving a blushing Meme behind, frozen and suddenly, very, _very_ thirsty. Literally.

Getting more water is all of a sudden a really great decision.

Meme checks his email when he goes back to his desk—he’s almost forgotten that he was having a fun conversation with Abe earlier via email too.

“I can recite the first hundred digits of pi, you know.”

 _He’s such a nerd_ , Meme thinks as he looks over to Abe, who now appears to be discussing something important with Hikaru. That stupid grin resurfaces.

———

_Day 11_

“Lunch?”

Meme’s the one writing the email this time. Abe seems to have been busy all day—he’s barely on his desk and even when he is, it seems like he doesn’t have the time to send some nice emails Meme’s way. Meme is hoping he’ll read this one.

It’s five minutes past lunch time. Koji’s still out on field work as he has been for the past few days now, leaving Meme and Abe head to lunch together with Meme’s other newfound friends: Date-sama and Shoppi.

Meme gets a phone call via his desk line. “Hello?”

“Meme, it’s already lunch time! Grab Abe-chan!” Shoppi sounds more demanding than usual.

“Can’t. He’s busy.”

“Then leave him and go down to the cafeteria with us! Date-san and I will be there in five.”

“Okay.”

Meme hangs up. He looks over to Abe—he’s at his desk at the moment but doesn’t seem to have time to work on his emails. Meme has no idea how long Abe can stay there either, so he thinks calling his desk phone is a greater option than sitting around, waiting for an email reply that might not come.

He hastily dials the local connected to Abe’s desk phone.

Abe seems to be focused at what he’s doing as he picks up the phone without tearing his eyes away from the screen.

“Hello, this is Abe Ryohei from the IT department.”

“A-Abe-kun,” Meme tries in the most chipper voice he can manage. He’s not used to using this voice at all.

“Oh, hi Meme!” Abe says in _his_ usual chipper tone. Abe then shifts his attention to Meme, their eyes locking instantly. “You need something?”

“Uh,” Meme forgets for a moment what he called for. _That damn smile_. “Right, are you coming with us for lunch? Shoppi says they’ll be downstairs in five minutes. You seem… preoccupied.”

“Lunch? Oh crap,” Abe obviously forgot. “Sorry, Meme, I can’t go with you guys today. Swamped with a system upgrade that we need to finish this week. It’s already Thursday and all…”

Meme’s heart sinks a little. “Oh no, it’s fine. I’ll go ahead and tell the others then.”

“Yeah, I’m so sorry,” Abe repeats although Meme knows it’s unnecessary.

Meme shakes his head. “No, it’s understandable. I’ll see you later?”

He doesn’t know why he said it, but he absolutely meant it.

Abe chuckles, “Yeah. Thanks for reminding me what time it is.”

“No problem.” Meme hangs up. He didn’t notice it at the time, but his breathing seems to have picked up. He breathes out and leaves his chair, heading to the elevators and trying to catch more glimpses of Abe before the elevator doors open.

———

_Day 13_

Abe and Meme have exchanged numbers as well, shortly before the weekend arrived. Abe felt so bad he couldn’t make it during lunch last Thursday that he gave his number to the younger man so he could be reachable in more ways than only work email or work phone number.

Now, the silly, dumb emails at work have extended their way into silly, dumb text messages.

So much so that Meme’s brother Raul won’t stop asking him about it. 

“Who’s texting you?” his younger brother teases as he sprawls himself all over Meme’s lap and on his bed.

“N-No one, just an acquaintance at work.”

“Then why are you grinning like an idiot? You like them?” Raul’s face inches closer to Meme’s.

Meme shakes his head furiously. “I am not. Shut up. Go do your homework or something.”

“But it’s the weekend, Ren-kun!”

“Whatever, mom says she needs you to clean your room anyway before you play video games,” Meme is careful to hide his phone from Raul’s prying eyes.

“Fine. You better introduce me to this person who clearly has your full attention!”

Meme rolls his eyes before pushing his younger brother off him. Raul finally leaves, but not without grumbling and mumbling.

Meme shakes his head again. Has he been that obvious?

He probably is, because he immediately turns his attention back to his phone. He’s never been excited to receive a text message and that scares him a little.

“So what’s for dinner?” One of Abe’s text messages says.

“I tried to cook lobster,” Meme replies. 

He honestly didn’t expect Abe would text him outside of work as well, but who knows how much reach Abe’s “kindness” has at this point. Meme certainly doesn’t mind it.

“You can cook. That’s amazing!” Abe replies, making Meme smirk, obviously pleased with himself. He’s glad this is a thing, whatever this is.

“You don’t cook, Abe-chan?”

Meme doesn’t know exactly when he started calling him “Abe-chan”. It just came naturally to him. Plus, with how Koji and Shoppi kept calling him, it was pretty odd not to do the same. Abe didn’t seem to mind, either.

 _Plus_ , Meme likes it that way.

“No, I don’t. Though I’d love to have some of your cooking some time!” Abe then sends a winking emoji.

 _He’s flirting?_ Meme becomes confused but the irrepressible grin on his face persists. Not that he needs to repress them when he’s at home, but there’s always a hidden doubt that he shouldn’t be feeling _this good_ about it.

It’s bordering on dangerous.

———

_Day 18_

There have been three instances where Meme thinks this is going somewhere, again, whatever _this_ is.

The first instance was Abe emailing him about another nerdy shit he saw on the internet.

“What is this?” Meme sent back. His face showed dismay but in reality, he found it adorable. _Like always_.

“It’s an umbrella that looks like a samurai sword! Ain’t it neat?”

And every time Abe would reply, Meme could see the other man having that dumb smile on his face that Meme found annoyingly contagious.

“Why would you want this, Abe-chan?”

“Look at it! It’s awesome looking! And it’s useful for when it rains!”

Meme turned his attention to Abe, who was obviously waiting on his reactions as well, and rolled his eyes at Abe as emphatically as he could.

Abe just chuckled as quietly as he could in his chair, his eyes disappearing into a squint that made him look more adorable.

_Crap._

The second instance was when they were queuing up for food at the cafeteria, as Meme held his wallet, Koji caught his attention.

“Meme, your shoes are untied.”

“Oh.” In a split second, Meme needed to decide whom to hand off his wallet to. Abe was conveniently next to him in line for that day. “Abe-chan, can you…? Please?”

“Sure.” Abe was more than willing to do it, much to Meme’s surprise.

Though was it really a surprise at this point?

Their hands touched for a moment as Meme handed his wallet off. It was fleeting, but the significant change in Meme’s heartbeat spoke differently.

Trying to ignore it, he went on to tie his shoes.

“Why did you choose Abe-chan over me?!” Koji sounded out a protest and Meme couldn’t see it, but he could hear Abe’s giggling.

“He was beside me,” was Meme’s pathetic attempt at justification once he was done tying his shoes. “Thanks, Abe-chan.”

“You’re welcome,” Abe’s eyes disappeared as he beamed as largely as he could. It seemed a little too much to be genuine but Meme knew him long enough at this point to know it was.

As small as that gesture was, Meme appreciated the hell out of it. Maybe a little more than he should.

_Damn it._

  
  


The third instance was when the lunch crew skipped eating lunch and headed to the nearest arcade to hang out for about an hour. It wasn’t too far away from their office, about 10 minutes away if they walked. It seemed like a great idea as they all had been talking about hanging out together outside of work for the longest time. Bailing out during office hours gave it an extra sense of irresponsibility that appealed to all of them, easily.

Koji and Shoppi quickly paired up to play air hockey against each other, while Date-sama turned to play at the dancing machine. Abe and Meme were left alone by the arcade entrance, both looking around for something to play, well, Meme hoped, _together._

Abe shook off Meme’s daydreaming with a heavy pat on his shoulder. “Hey Meme, you want to play this?”

Meme stared at Abe, rather surprised at his suggestion. Not that Meme would refuse him, to be honest. “I didn’t know you liked shooters, Abe-chan.”

Abe chuckled. “It’s not my favorite or anything. I just thought it’d be fun to do together.”

The fact that Abe thought it would be something that he’d do with him made Meme’s heart skip a beat. Sure, the fact that the other three left them was what made it happen in the first place, but Abe thinking about playing together was sweet, if anything.

“I mean, if that’s what you want to do,” Meme shrugged. “You don’t know how hard it is to say no to you.” He meant that.

Abe chuckled again, his eyes twinkling like magic. “Then let’s do it!”

Meme finally showed a grin. Apparently he’d been holding this one back. It would typically be easy not to, but seeing Abe every day, it’d become more and more difficult.

Nevertheless, Meme discovered that day that he could play games all day with Abe and time wouldn’t have mattered.

And that he’s working with a cute nerd on the same floor as him and it drives him crazy every single day.

_Goddamn it._

———

_Day 19_

Meme has always been curious why Abe went into IT, so he decides to ask him about it during lunchtime.

“It’s Abe-chan, does it matter why?” Shoppi retorts as he carelessly bites into his fried chicken lunch.

“Shoppi, it matters though!” Koji reasons. “Go ahead, Abe-chan.”

Abe displays a calm but confident expression. “That’s the job that was available to me at the time. I was told I’d be perfect for this job even without the extensive background knowledge needed, so long as I was willing to learn. And I was.”

Meme has always noticed the way Abe uses words—it’s almost cliché at this point, but it bears repeating—Abe’s intelligent. Meme’s a little intimidated to know that fact, but he still can’t help but feel attracted to the guy. Which, he probably hates to realize a little more than usual.

“I’m actually considering getting a Master’s degree at some point,” Abe adds. “I’m just finding the right moment for it.”

“Does that mean you’ll leave this job soon?” Date speaks for the first time at that moment. And it is the hardest statement to take in.

“Well, not _that_ soon,” Abe then looks at Meme, his eyes squinting with joy. “I’m still enjoying my time here.”

“That’s a relief,” Koji then says. Meme nods as he swallows in nervousness, realizing full well the other’s eyes are still on him.

——— 

_Day 22_

“Sakkun’s back?” Meme hears Koji say to Abe during lunch time.

Abe nods, a conservative smile forming on his face.

“How long was he gone, about three months?”

“That sounds right. He was assigned in Yamagata, so he had barely any time to visit Tokyo,” Abe says.

_Sakkun…?_

“Meme,” Koji breaks Meme’s train of thought before it even leaves the station. “Have you met Sakuma-kun?”

Meme shakes his head.

“Oh,” Koji’s expression changes to something that concerns Meme. Unfortunately he can’t quite decipher what it means right now.

“ _Sakuma_.”

Meme then hears Abe whisper breathlessly. He immediately looks to where Abe’s eyes are focused and he sees a man shorter than all of them (yes, even Shoppi), though it’s not fair considering all of them are tall guys anyway. But the way this guy walks is _different_. Meme can’t quite tell right now what it is exactly, but he’s intimidated.

“Sakuma-kun!” Koji breaks the awkward silence that seems to have been forming around the table. “Good morning!”

“Good morning everyone!” Sakuma’s energy is not what Meme expected, as his following along with Koji’s joke greeting. “How have you all been?”

“Great,” Abe says as Sakuma sits beside him, as if that is some unspoken rule between the two of them that Meme must’ve missed out on. “How was Yamagata?”

“It was fun! I wish you were all there with me,” Sakuma answers. “By the way Abe-chan, did you get the things I sent you in the mail while I was there?”

“I did, thanks! It was sweet of you,” Abe’s previously conservative smile elevates to a much obvious one. “You didn’t have to, you know.”

Sakuma playfully waves a hand at Abe. “Nah, I promised you those a long time ago.”

Abe scoffs, his cheeks turn flushed.

Meme has never seen it happen before… and if he’s being honest, it hurts a bit.

———

_Day 24_

“Meme, Koji, let’s go to lunch!” Sakuma stops by Meme and Koji’s cubicle, startling Meme.

“Huh? Uh, okay.” While a bit surprised, Meme has heard of all the instances that Sakuma is apparently an _incredibly_ friendly dude.

Though Koji told him about a misunderstanding they had a long time ago, once the two of them had resolved it, Sakuma quickly became one of the warmest dudes Koji has ever known, and that’s saying something coming from Koji, one of the warmest people Meme has ever known.

Simply put, Meme didn’t expect the invitation.

The guy’s quick to adopt his nickname as well, again, not that Meme minds.

“Yo! Abe-chan!” Sakuma’s voice resonates cleanly throughout the entire floor. “It’s lunchtime!”

It’s a weird feeling, Meme suddenly finds, that their usual routine of contacting each other through whatever means of communication has now changed by having Sakuma around. Meme hasn’t been getting phone calls or emails from Abe recently. Meme thinks this is the pettiest shit he’s ever felt, but hey, that’s why they’re called feelings, right? They’re not supposed to follow sound logic.

“Hold on a sec!” They can hear Abe’s voice from his station, a little muffled as he hasn’t stood up yet.

“That guy’s always busy. He’s really never changed...” Sakuma comments to the two of them, smiling fondly.

“Will it be your treat, Sakuma-kun?” Koji jokes, to which Sakuma laughs enthusiastically, distracting Meme from his thoughts getting deeper.

“Nah,” Sakuma’s beam is as bright as Abe’s. Meme then feels a pang of envy coming over him. “Maybe we can ask Abe-chan to treat us?”

“I don’t want him to get mad at me…” Koji pouts.

“I’m only kidding, Koji,” Sakuma puts an arm around Koji. “So Meme, how’s work been treatin’ you, bud? I hope Fukka isn’t overworking the hell out of you.”

Meme cracks a bit of an awkward grin. “He isn’t thankfully, though I’d prefer it if he cooled it down with the celebrity impressions during meetings. Koji and I love them but event sponsors? Not as amused.”

“Sounds like Fukka, alright,” Sakuma says with a smirk. “Abe-chan! Are you coming or what? We’re going to leave without you.”

“I’m going, jeez,” Abe runs towards them. “What is it with you and getting too excited for lunchtime? You’re not in grade school, you know.”

Sakuma responds with a chuckle. “I mean, who isn’t excited about lunch, right Koji?”

“Food is something to be excited about!” Koji nods.

“See?” Sakuma smirks. “That grumpiness won’t get you anywhere, you know.”

Abe rolls his eyes, though Meme can tell he’s too used to this to get actually annoyed by it. But this is something he rarely got as a reaction before Sakuma came along.

Meme’s thoughts run amuck again—How long have they known each other to have this kind of familiarity?

———

_Day 25_

It is the same predicament as yesterday. Sakuma drops by Koji and Meme’s cubicle, shouts at Abe and waits for all of them to go down to the cafeteria together. As they all head to the cafeteria, Meme spots Date and Shoppi already standing at the lunch line.

Meme hastily approaches Shoppi after getting his own tray.

“Oh Meme,” Shoppi greets. “Ryota here was wondering what onigiri you would like. He’s making one for everyone.”

This is good, Meme thinks. Anything to divert his attention away from whatever Sakuma and Abe are doing, which is the same as yesterday. Not that he was looking at them the entire time or anything. “Whatever you think is good, Date-san.”

“Got it,” is Date’s simple but assured reply. “It’ll be ready by tomorrow.”

Meme shares a chuckle with Shoppi. “Looking forward to it.”

“Oh, where are the others?” Shoppi asks, looking behind Meme.

Meme can hear the other three laugh as they approach him and Shoppi. Koji, though, walks towards Meme first.

“Meme, can you please sit by Sakkun today?”

Meme merely blinks. _Why—_

“I don’t know,” Koji continues as if he heard Meme’s question. “He wants to get to know you and all, I guess.

“S-Sure.” In reality, Meme isn’t sure at all.

Koji clicks his tongue. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t tell you this directly… seems like he doesn’t want to waste any time with Abe-chan. Three months is apparently a very long time to be away from each other.”

“It’s not like they didn’t talk to each other all the time when they were separated,” Shoppi’s biting remark cuts through Meme’s chest. It’s not only how he said it, but also _what_ he said. Most of all. 

“They do?” Koji asks, evidently clueless.

“Who knows, though I wouldn’t be surprised,” Shoppi says.

“Shota,” Date starts. It sounds like a warning but he doesn’t follow it up afterwards so Meme doesn’t really know what it exactly means.

Shoppi grabs a bite of bread on his tray and laughs. “Date-san, that was scary just now.”

Date doesn’t say anything else. It seems to have worked since Shoppi turns quiet soon after as well.

One by one, they finish ordering their food and head to the nearest empty table that’s as far away from other groups as possible. (They’ve been often told they’re too loud so they have opted to stay away from other tables.)

“S-Sakuma-kun, you wanted me to sit by you?” Meme carefully approaches Sakuma’s side of the table. His heart is pounding like crazy right now. He doesn’t know what to expect at all and it kills him.

“Oh yeah! Koji told you, huh,” Sakuma’s eyes disappear when he beams. It’s kind of endearing. “It was a passing comment, but I’d love to have you sit with Abe-chan and me today! He’s told me so much about you.”

 _He has_ …? Meme throws a fleeting look at Abe-chan who has the same glimmering smile as Sakuma.

“Meme has been such a good addition to the floor and to our group,” Abe adds. “You’ll like him, Sakuma.”

“I already do!”

Meme will not lie—he likes Sakuma too. And he doesn’t know if that’s worse.

And whatever Abe just said… was it being a good addition and all? _He thinks so?_ That’s nice to hear.

But Meme cannot process all of this right now, so he tries to set aside whatever influx of emotions he’s experiencing at this moment.

It’s much harder than he thinks.

———

_Day 29_

Abe hasn’t texted Meme at all over the weekend.

Meme thinks about this as he looks over to Abe’s desk. Abe does look busy, but that’s everyday anyway.

Yet, no more texts, no more emails, not even those meaningless, small trips to the pantry.

Nothing looks different, but it certainly feels like everything is.

Meme can’t take this. All of this. Not anymore. He doesn’t even understand why he’s been keeping this to himself. It’s not like him at all. He’s always been a straightforward kind of guy, but being with Abe is _indescribable_ , changed him in a way that Meme himself cannot understand.

But Meme’s tired of being this damn clueless.

“Abe-chan, do you have a minute?” He starts to type on his keyboard. _No, this seems weird to do on our office computers… plus he might not get to read it._

Meme looks at his desk phone, and sighs. His heart pumps that awfully familiar speed whenever Abe is in the picture. Meme sometimes wonders when it will stop, if it will ever stop, but he’s too deep in this mess now.

He closes his eyes as he slowly dials Abe’s line extension.

“Hello, this is Abe Ryohei—”

“Abe-chan?” Meme almost whispers, his breathing becoming heavier.

He isn’t prepared for this. He will never be. But he has to know. He has to tell him.

“Meme?” Abe’s voice changes to the usual cheerful tone when he hears Meme on the other end. “Do you need anything? You sound a little worried.”

Meme tries to ignore whatever his mess of a brain is thinking that always complicates things. _Just. Fucking. Say. It._

“D-Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you about something. It’s… not work-related.”

“Hmm?” Abe says initially, and then there’s a pause. “Um, I still have a few things I need to finish today but around lunch time is fine, can you wait until then?”

Lunch time. But that means everyone else is there and _Sakuma_ and...

“How about we meet at the rooftop before we head down to the cafeteria? Just the two of us. It’s important.”

It feels like a lie, Meme quickly resolves as such in his head. How important is it in reality?

“Okay, sure.” Without even looking, Meme can hear the smile on Abe’s face coming through the line. It’s weird but he’s relieved to know that somehow.

“Alright. I’ll see you.”

Meme looks at the time on his PC monitor. 10:45 AM. He has about an hour to go. It’ll be an agonizing wait for sure, so he heads to Fukka’s office to ask for some kind of distraction.

“Fukka-san?” He carefully knocks on his boss’ door.

“Meme! What is it?”

“Do you need help with anything? I suddenly have a lot of free time in my hands…” Meme looks away, putting a hand at the back of his head as a sign of uncertainty.

Fukka looks around his office. “Nothing right now, though I actually have something to say to you!” His voice goes up out of excitement.

Meme merely blinks. “W-What is it?”

“I was waiting until the end of the day to make sure all of the kinks and stuff are sorted out, but… I’m assigning you a marketing event to spearhead later this month.”

Meme’s mouth falls agape. “ _What?_ ”

He’s barely a month into this job at this point.

Fukka laughs. “Don’t worry about it! The bosses upstairs and I have talked about this and they’re delighted with your performance so far that they’re willing to trust you with this event! So, you can process the news with the free time you have if you wish to do so.”

“Okay... thank you, Fukka-san.”

“No worries. And it doesn’t start until next week anyway. The planning.”

“Right.”

Meme heads back to his cubicle slowly. Fukka is right—he needs the time to process this news. He isn’t quite sure yet whether this is helpful to his current state of mind or not, but it proves to be of help when he suddenly realizes he has received an email from Abe.

“I’ll head to the rooftop in about five minutes. See you?”

Meme looks at the time again. 11:45 AM.

An hour has passed and he doesn’t even notice it. He has to prepare. For what? He doesn’t know. He’s panicking. His heart pounds even harder and faster when he sees Abe stand up and walk towards the stairs. _Shit_.

He stands up, bumping his chair on his desk out of carelessness.

He heads into the bathroom for a bit. _Fix the hair? Okay. Breathe. You’re not going to die after this… well, we’ll see about that. In any case, just tell him how you feel. Abe-chan is nice. He won’t… hurt you._

_...at least, not more than he already has._

_Shit_.

It isn’t as easy as it seems. But he has to do it. With one last heavy breath out, he finally heads to the fire escape stairs.

He opens the door towards the rooftop. The weather’s nice, a little too nice in fact. No clouds above at all. The sky is bluer than he remembers. He sees Abe standing in the middle of the rooftop, looking up at the beautiful sky, his back turned on Meme.

Closing the door behind him informs Abe of his presence.

That recognizable, warm smile greets him. His breathing picks up again.

“What did you want to talk about?” Abe begins, his bright smile not faltering at all.

Meme thinks about various situations in his head—also the fact that he’s definitely made Abe a lot more cruel to him than what he actually is in real life—different phrases he can say that will make it turn out things differently.

“I guess this is it,” Meme says, looking away from the man several feet in front of him.

Abe doesn’t say anything, but makes a confused expression.

_Here goes._

“I like you, Abe-chan.”

Abe’s face has always been expressive. Meme can see there is a slight surprise that appears on Abe’s face, albeit momentary, as it turns back into his signature smile.

“I like you too, Meme. You’re a good kid.”

Meme knows it’s absolutely not in the same vein as what he said. And whether or not Abe is trying to dismiss his emotions this way, he ignores it because he wants Abe to know exactly how he feels. He _needs_ him to know.

This is important. Meme now refuses to think otherwise.

“No… I _like_ you. I always have. You’re too nice to me and I don’t know how to take it sometimes, but I guess my natural reaction is to fall for you. And… I don’t know if that’s the correct way to feel. Maybe it isn’t, but it is the truth.”

Abe’s face, once full of expression, is now blank.

Meme’s heart sinks. He knew it was a possibility but it still hurts.

“That’s about what I expected,” Meme says dejectedly.

“I-I…” Abe’s voice is shaking, which breaks Meme’s heart even more. “I didn’t know that’s how you felt. I mean, maybe I did unconsciously, and maybe it’s my fault that I might have led you on. But I do like you, Meme. It’s just… it’s complicated right now.”

_Complicated?_

Then it hits him.

“It’s Sakuma-kun, isn’t it?” Meme says through gritted teeth. The worst part being Sakuma isn’t the kind of guy to hate. At all.

Abe shows a regretful smile. “We used to be together. It’s complicated, the fact that we still hang out and all, but we’ve never actually had a bad break up or anything. We said we’d call it quits and continue hanging out as friends, but… I didn’t expect he’d be back so soon. Suddenly I feel like there’s nothing changed between us. And I don’t want anything to change between us anytime soon.”

There it is.

Meme thinks about how this all makes sense, seeing how Abe’s been reacting since Sakuma came back to the office. He should’ve known, he really should have, and now he feels like banging his head on a wall.

How can he compare to an ex? And a good one at that?

“I’m sorry that I let you get caught up in it,” Abe says. Meme can tell he means it, but it doesn’t work. He only wishes it did.

“I get it,” Meme finally says, fighting the tears he’s been holding back. “Tell me, what we were doing… did you really _like_ me or were you really just being nice?”

There’s a considerable pause.

Abe then chuckles. “I don’t know. Truthfully. I’m an idiot who doesn’t know how to handle my own feelings, much less control them. In fact, I’m not surprised that you’re frustrated. Apparently that’s a thing I do a lot.”

 _Sakuma-kun_. He probably has told Abe this before.

“I’m not as ideal as you think I am, Meme,” Abe says, keeping that sad smile. “Maybe this is for the better, maybe I don’t deserve someone as dedicated as you.”

_It’s not about deserving someone…_

But perhaps pushing all of this is moot. Perhaps Abe is right: They aren’t meant for each other as it is. As much as that is a huge punch in the gut, as much as the truth hurts but it is the truth. Meme has to accept it and move on.

Meme gives out one last sigh as tears fall down his face.

“Thank you for being honest with me.”

With that, he turns away from Abe and struts towards the rooftop entrance, going through it and closing it with resolution.

He’s just glad he has a huge event to spearhead.

———

_Day 30_

Meme knows it isn’t his fault, yet he blames himself for everything. How could he be so dumb? So naïve to assume Abe is in love with his dumb ass when Abe has never actually said anything so explicit? Abe is a nice guy. Period. That’s all there is to it and Meme is dumb enough to interpret it differently.

He didn’t go to lunch today. Too buried in his current project, too busy being lost in his stupid thoughts.

Despite that, he hasn’t failed to notice that Koji has been watching everything he does the entire day, full of curiosity and worry.

“Do you have work to do or are you just going to stare at me all day?”

Koji pouts. Meme hates making Koji feel this way but he can’t be bothered today.

“Meme, are you okay? You skipped lunch.”

“I’m fine,” Meme lies as if it’s going to fool Koji. “Fukka-san gave me this project and I have to focus on it.”

“But planning doesn’t even officially start until next week! I’m part of the team too, you know.” Koji isn’t fooled. Of course he isn’t. “Meme, you can tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m just… a little lost in my head.” That one isn’t a lie.

“Well, I’m here if you need someone to talk to,” Koji gives Meme an assuring grin. “Shoppi was so worried about you and I don’t want him to feel bad!”

“You’re concerned about Shoppi then, not me!” Meme finally manages to let out a chuckle, even if it’s a pained one.

“See! You’re more handsome when you smile,” Koji teases.

“Shut up,” Meme playfully punches his friend.

Today has been hard. He refuses to look at where he would glance everyday, and while he has been successful for the most part (he doesn’t even know what color suit Abe is wearing today), it hasn’t made the pain any less excruciating.

He expected the worst outcome yet he didn’t expect the pain to feel much worse than that. Is there anything worse than worst? He doesn’t know, but that is what this is.

“Would you join us tomorrow, please?”

Meme will probably not move on from this for a while.

———

_Day 31_

Although he promised Koji yesterday that he’d join them for lunch today and there’s nothing he hates more than disappointing Koji, he finds it hard to find the motivation to follow through with that promise.

But Koji won’t leave his sorry ass alone, especially when the clock strikes 11.

“You don’t have to watch over me like a hawk, Koji, I’m going with you for lunch.”

Koji shows a sympathetic grin. “That’s not why I’m watching over you, Meme. You’ve acted differently since Monday. I’ve been worried.”

Meme wants to avoid this conversation. He was able to yesterday, but it makes sense that Koji will continue to ask him what’s wrong until he gets an answer.

He sighs. There’s really not much point in hiding it, is there?

“I confessed to Abe-chan and he rejected me, said he still has feelings for Sakuma-kun.”

“Ah, right.” Koji says as if he’s known all along. Maybe he has. “I figured you’d know about Sakkun eventually. I didn’t tell you that they used to date because I don’t know what their situation is right now, to be honest. It’s probably better that you got your answer from Abe-chan himself.”

“He said it’s complicated and didn’t want me to get caught up in it.”

“Hey, at least he’s still looking out for you,” Koji gives Meme a strong pat on the back. “His being nice wasn’t a facade. He _is_ nice and wants the best for people he cares about.”

Meme wishes he could completely believe Koji, though… this conversation has made him feel a bit better.

And yet, he’s still not looking forward to that lunch.

Both of them stand up and head to the elevators.

“By the way, if it helps,” Koji begins again. “Sakuma-kun isn’t around this week.”

Meme scoffs, not knowing if that does help or not. “Thanks.”

The two of them show up at the cafeteria. As per usual, Date and Shoppi are already seated in their designated spots. Meme usually sits by Abe and Koji, but today, he feels like sitting as far away as possible from anyone else, except Shoppi.

Meme can see Koji wanting to complain about his decision to split from him, but Koji bites his own tongue. _At least Koji understands._

“Oh, there’s a change of mood today,” Shoppi comments. “You weren’t here yesterday.”

Meme grins a little. “Sorry, I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Hey, it happens,” Shoppi says, his usual tone of sarcasm is now serious. Meme appreciates it. “You know we’re here if you need someone to talk to, right?”

“Koji already said that line to me,” Meme says, trying to joke. “It’s about Abe-chan.”

“Oh, right.”

As if on cue, Abe arrives in the cafeteria. He sees Meme and smiles. Meme usually remembers it a little more brightly but not today. Maybe he’s been seeing it in rose-tinted glasses all this time. It kind of sucks.

After a few moments, Abe sits down by Koji and Date. Meme can sense Abe throwing looks his way, but Shoppi is currently doing a great job of distracting him, keeping conversation with him about anything he can think of.

When lunch finishes and all five of them walk back to the elevator, Meme feels a small tug of his arm sleeve.

“Meme.”

It’s Abe. The other three see them stop and Abe throws a pleading look. They understand what he means and proceed going to the elevator.

“We have nothing to talk about,” Meme’s tone is firm.

“I know I already apologized but it doesn’t feel like you’ve accepted it,” Abe says, his voice breaking. And Meme hates hearing that because he knows he’s one step to falling back in.

“What do you want, then? For me to return to ‘normal’?” Meme’s voice sounds hurt too. “That’s not necessarily easy given what just happened.”

“I don’t know,” Abe admits, looking away. “I guess I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t… _hate_ you, Abe-chan. It’s the opposite, actually. But I can’t go on like nothing happened after everything.”

“I just don’t want to be unfair to you.”

“I know you don’t,” Meme slowly removes his arm from Abe’s grip. “So the least I’m asking you is to leave me alone.”

Not expecting an answer, Meme almost haphazardly rushes to the stairs—he’d rather tire himself out than share the same, suffocating space as Abe.

As much as he wants to forgive him, it’s possibly a little too late.

———

_Day 36_

Today is the official first day of the big project Meme is spearheading. He’s going to be in meetings all day, thank heavens, so he doesn’t have to wallow in self-pity as much. Though the weekend wasn’t this kind to him, he’s grateful Raul asked him to play games with him during that time. His younger brother has also stopped asking him about Abe so he takes it as a good sign.

Meeting number one is a two-day affair. Since Events is the one in charge, the entire team is present: Fukka, Koji and Meme, seated in that order. The other department heads are also attending, including Hikaru from IT. He is sitting by Fukka’s other side. Meme often sees his boss and Hikaru, spending whatever free time as well as lunch time together, so this isn’t surprising at the least. He hasn’t heard too much about them but he’s sure they go all the way back to college. Maybe even high school.

Koji shows him random doodles from time-to-time, letting him know he’s somewhat bored and also there to provide entertainment for him in case Meme’s the one who’s bored. Meme is not, though, because he recognizes how important this is. Besides, there’s a darkness his mind will wander off to if he doesn’t focus solely on this.

Meme has now dreaded lunch time. He doesn’t want to make the atmosphere amongst the group awkward, but he doesn’t want to cast away Abe from his friends either. So he has decided to go back to where he used to eat lunch before all of this mess—the office pantry.

Koji expresses his desire to join him there.

“No, Koji, you go with Shoppi and everyone else,” Meme tells him, his tone definite.

“But you’ll be lonely,” Koji utilizes his signature pout that’s a little hard to resist.

“I’d rather be lonely than sad,” Meme tries to give his friend a sincere grin. “Go. I’ll be fine.”

Koji obliges, albeit reluctantly. After a few minutes, Meme’s phone rings.

“You’re not here again.”

Shoppi’s voice has never sounded so serious.

Meme quietly scoffs. “You know why I’m not there, besides, I have to get back to work soon so I can’t hang out with you guys for long anyway.”

“I know you’re dedicated to your job, but this is ridiculous. If you want, I can accompany you for lunch anywhere but the cafeteria. I could use some time away from them too.”

“It’s fine, Shoppi. _I’m_ fine,” Meme says. “This is better, trust me. This project is going to take me a couple of weeks and that’s a good thing.”

“Whatever you say,” Shoppi sighs, resigned. “Let’s hang out for dinner later?”

Meme grins. For real this time. “Sure.”

———

_Day 38_

First round of meetings are done. The second round starts today, but these are not as huge of a scale as the previous one but it entails much more detailed work. Now Meme has learned what it’s about and why it has to be successful (and pretty much how much the company is willing to spend financially), now he has to focus on the logistics. He and Koji have to work together for this one, which obviously Meme doesn't mind. Koji has always been a hard worker himself and a good friend. He’s someone Meme needs at a time like this.

“Transportation, food, manpower… what else are we missing?” Meme asks Koji as they spend most of their day in a conference room.

“Uh, tech stuff… IT.” 

Meme can tell Koji is hesitant to say it, afraid it might trigger something unpleasant within him. Meme isn’t that worried about it, though. It’s work.

“We’ll talk to Iwamoto-kun about it, that’s no problem.”

“Right.”

Lunch time is the same as yesterday. Though, Hikaru comes in during the middle of it.

“Why are you here, Meguro?” Hikaru asks him. “I always see you in the cafeteria with Koji and Abe and the sales guys.”

“Um,” Meme bites his lip. How should he say it? “I figured I couldn’t spend much time downstairs if I wanted to get work done.”

Hikaru smirks. “You don’t have to be that serious about work, but if it’s a private matter then I won’t ask you more about it. Would you want to join Fukka and me next time? I don’t want you to be alone here all the time.”

Meme scoffs out of the ridiculousness of Hikaru’s suggestion. “I can’t, sir.”

“Don’t ‘sir’ me, you don’t even call Fukka that!” Hikaru chuckles which prompts Meme to do the same. “Come on, it’s not a big deal.”

Meme grins. “Okay. Thank you, Iwamoto-kun.”

———

_Day 40_

Never in a million years Meme would have expected to spend lunch with two department heads, much more a friendly one at that.

But as ludicrous as the idea was at first, it was definitely something Meme needed.

“Meme,” Fukka begins. “I know you’ve been working hard for the project but you don’t have to bury yourself too much in it. Besides, Koji misses you.”

“I can’t believe Koji has said that to you too, Fukka-san.” Meme shakes his head, but he is grinning. “It’s not like the two of us don’t see each other everyday.”

“Koji misses _everyone_ ,” Hikaru says, chuckling. “But I agree with Fukka. I invited you to eat with us only because you have been busy with your project—and I get that, we all have those crunch weeks where we can’t make time for anything else—but I don’t want you to totally isolate yourself from your friends.”

Meme nods. He doesn’t know if they’re aware of the reason or if he should say anything in case they’re not, but what he does know is that he doesn’t want this conversation to turn awkward. They’re still his senpais after all.

Fukka turns his head towards him as if observing him. If Meme knows one thing about his boss, it’s that he notices things _a lot_ , so much so that it’s almost hard to hide things from him sometimes.

Meme looks away. “You’re staring too much, Fukka-san…”

“A-Am I? I’m sorry,” Fukka wiggles his head while Hikaru laughs.

“Don’t harass the poor guy, come on now.”

“I don’t intend to,” Fukka’s voice gets higher. “Plus, Meme understands me.”

“Does he?” Hikaru’s eyebrows furrow.

Meme laughs along. “Surprisingly, I do.”

“See?”

Hikaru shakes his head. Meme’s glad he has this in substitute for company, even if temporary.

———

_Day 48_

Meme’s next week was hectic, so hectic in fact that he had barely time to think about anything else. It’s pretty nice, actually, not to have someone occupy his thoughts overwhelmingly all the time for once. It’s surprisingly peaceful.

This week has been the culmination of all the planning he has done over the past couple of weeks. Fukka, Koji, Hikaru and even Shoppi all helped him in some way, and really, that’s just how a company works especially for a high-scale event like this. He wonders how he has pulled it off without any major hitches (delays can be a bitch and a bit stressful) but when he thinks of all the people around him, there really is no wonder.

And now it’s the event proper. He arrives at the venue first thing in the morning to check if everything’s set up the way he wants them to—from stage decorations to tables to food preparations—and everything is going well so far.

Fukka drops by around lunch time to check on, well, him. Meme assures his boss that he’s fine, isn’t he worried about the event even more?

“I’m sure you’re doing great for the event,” Fukka says with a coffee cup in hand and sunglasses on, seemingly not worried at all. “I just wanted to make sure _you’re_ okay.”

Meme scoffs. “I’m fine, boss. No need to worry about me.”

Fukka grins at him. “Good to know. Just checking.”

“I appreciate it, Fukka-san.”

Fukka leaves for lunch soon after ( _He really just did check on me_ , is Meme’s fleeting thought). Koji comes by about a couple of hours later.

“Oh, this is looking good, Meme!” Koji says, a camera in hand. Actually, make that a couple of cameras, with another one slung onto his right shoulder. He takes a few pictures of the venue, and Meme.

“You don’t need photos of me, do you?” Meme grumbles, a little annoyed in that playful way of his.

“I appreciate all kinds of beauty, Meme, and you’re definitely one of them! Such a waste that you’re not being captured this way.”

“You’re annoying sometimes, do you know that?” Meme can’t help but laugh even though he’s shaking his head at the ridiculousness of his friend. “Are you staying for long though?”

“I am!” Koji says proudly. “Gotta help out and all like we talked about. Shoppi can’t make it, though I think he already told you that.”

“He did,” Meme grins a little. “It’s no problem, all I needed from him was money anyway.”

Koji laughs out loud which makes Meme’s grin become wider. Meme feels good about this. About everything. Certainly a change of scenery from a couple of weeks ago.  
  
Not that it crosses his mind just now.

He shakes his head as if that will help remove the thought from his head. _Gotta focus_ , he tells himself. _This is the biggest project of your career so far!_

That somehow does the trick.

Another hour passes, and the tech setup starts. All of the tech support talk and advice that Meme learned over the course of a week came from Hikaru, as it should. So of course, Meme has been expecting Hikaru to arrive.

He sees a different person, someone he hasn’t seen for a while, supposedly someone he hasn’t thought of all this time. The one that always sent his mind awry and his heart to a frenzy.

Abe, donning a full suit properly as usual, comes strutting in the venue with a laptop bag in one hand and what seems to be a bundle of notebooks in another. Meme immediately finds this endearing and he already hates it.

“Abe-chan, you’re here!” Koji greets Abe by taking a few of his photos. “I’m so glad!”

“Hi Koji,” Abe’s smile shines as usual. Meme wonders how a person can be so consistent with their smiles. _Shit,_ there he goes again. When will he ever learn his lesson? Staying away is definitely the best option for him after all, but it doesn’t work if that rule gets broken like this.

“Good afternoon,” Abe greets Meme, his smile reduced a little bit, obviously trying to gauge Meme’s reaction first. “I-I, uh, Hikaru sent me. I didn’t know what it was until about an hour ago, to be honest.”

 _Of course_. Must be Fukka and Hikaru’s doing. _They knew after all_.

Meme looks daggers at Koji, who quickly avoids his glare. He will have to reprimand Koji later.

“It’s okay,” Meme says after. “I’ll leave you to do your thing.”

Abe only nods. He clearly knows that Meme isn’t ready for any of this, and like him, is somehow left with no choice but to deal with the situation at hand. If he has to be honest, Meme isn’t sure he’d be thankful that Abe has been too respectful of his wishes. In the back of his mind, he wants Abe to be a little more defiant, rebellious even, but he realizes that’s never going to happen.

He also feels like shit for being a shithead. It still isn’t his fault and yet, he still feels like it is.

Thankfully, the event starting in a couple of hours has been a good distraction for him for now.

———

_Day 48.9_

The event proves to be a success in every way. Meme is delighted and nothing short of proud of what he has done, especially with Fukka in attendance. He wants to prove himself to his boss after all, despite repeated assurance of “I’m already proud of you” from Fukka even before today’s event. He has done it. 

As guests leave the venue to go home, Fukka approaches Meme who is taking photos of his own, primarily for his own keepsakes.

“Like I said, I’m already proud of you. But this makes me even more prouder,” Fukka puts a hand on Meme’s shoulder, his hold on it firm.

“Thanks boss,” Meme fondly grins at Fukka. “I never really would’ve done it without your help, too.”

Fukka scoffs, “I didn’t do any of this, you did! Own it!”

Meme chuckles shyly. “I will.”

“Now if you excuse me, I need to get home to tend to my island.”

That makes Meme laugh out loud as he knows what exactly that means. “Thanks again, Fukka-san.”

“Yo!” Fukka throws out a peace sign in the air as he walks away from Meme without looking back. _Fukka-san is so cool._ Meme wants to be that kind of boss in the future, too.

Meme then looks around for Koji. He isn’t around anymore, though Meme doesn’t remember Koji saying goodbye to him. _He at least would’ve said something._

Instead, he finds Abe alone, fixing up his equipment and other tech paraphernalia. He owes the man some sort of thanks too, regardless of what has happened between them. He really couldn’t have done it without Abe, that much is obvious.

His heart pounding that crazy irregular pattern once again, Meme approaches the tech booth as carefully as he can.

“Hey,” he begins, avoiding eye contact for the time being. He still isn’t ready. “Thanks for all your help tonight.”

He risks a glance at Abe, who smiles at him, seemingly thankful as well. “It’s my pleasure! I mean, this is a part of my job but I’m also more than happy to be of help.”

A tiny grin naturally appears on Meme’s face, that he can’t help even if he tries.

“I’m sorry about showing up unannounced, though,” Abe adds. “I really had no idea until today.”

Meme shakes his head. “You don’t always have to say sorry, you know.”

“But I _am_ sorry,” Abe approaches him slowly—instinctively Meme walks back a bit, apprehensive. Abe notices that so he stops in his tracks. “I think I’m going to keep saying it until you forgive me for at least one of them.” Abe then awkwardly chuckles.

Meme doesn’t say anything. At least he decides not to. As much as he has bitten back for the pain it caused him, he doesn’t want to hurt Abe. Especially not now.

“I do wish you would forgive me though.” It’s Abe’s turn to look away. “It’s hard for me to be honest with what I feel, but I’ll say this because it’s been killing me for a while now: I do miss the little interactions we have, the emails, the phone calls, the little time we spend during lunch. They’re all seemingly stupid things but I miss them a lot.”

They look each other in the eye, finally.

“And I miss you.”

Meme can feel his heart become alive for the first time in weeks. He can’t deny that this is something he’s been wanting to hear for _weeks_ , and yet, it feels all too surreal to take in.

Turns out, he isn’t ready for this kind of outcome either.

“Apparently, I’m too much of a mess for any kind of relationship,” Abe continues. “Whether it’s the previous one or this one. I knew it was hopeless with Sakuma. I was just too stubborn to realize it. And I’ve been blinded for so long… until you confessed.”

Does Meme hear what he thinks he’s hearing?

“I may be bad at it, but with you, I won’t hesitate to ask to start over. I failed to realize how much I needed you in my life. I won’t let ever happen again, I promise.” Never has Abe’s tone been more definite. His gaze is intense, something Meme hasn’t experienced before, and if he’s being honest, it’s _fucking intoxicating_.

Meme finds himself now approaching Abe, a thing he has been uncertain to do, until this moment. He inches closer and closer until they both can feel each other’s breaths on their faces. Everything is making Meme’s head spin, in a good way.

“Is that a confession I’m hearing?” Meme smirks, looking down at Abe.

“What do you think?” Abe smirks back. Abe tiptoes so that their noses touch.

Rather impulsively, Meme cups Abe’s face with both of his hands. Abe closes his eyes. Meme leans in for a kiss, and god, does that feel _great_. Hunger doesn’t even begin to describe what he’s feeling.

Weird as it may, time feels like it stood still. Meme can definitely bask in this moment forever.

That is, until he hears a click of the camera shutter.

Both of them quickly pull away from each other as they both exactly know what that means.

“Oh sorry,” Koji is still holding his camera in that capturing position, his face showing cluelessness. “Did I interrupt you guys?”

Meme’s face is red. “ _KOJI_.”

“I’m sorry! I just thought it was a nice moment to capture,” Koji browses through his camera. “Do you guys want to see? They’re all good photos!”

“I’m going to kill you,” Meme says as Abe giggles beside him.

“You can send me those photos, Koji,” Abe says, holding Meme by his arms in case he _does_ go and fight Koji.

“See, Abe-chan appreciates my art, the smart guy that he is,” Koji teases Meme. “Don’t worry, these photos are only for you two. I can keep a secret, you know.”

“Thanks Koji,” Abe says.

As this silly conversation goes on, Abe subtly slips a hand over Meme’s. Meme looks at it, looks at Abe who looks back with a satisfied smile, and finally takes his hand, their fingers lovingly intertwined as if it’s the most natural thing to happen.

And Meme is glad it’s finally happened.

  
  


END


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